Worldwide, a significant proportion of young people become sexually active before the age of sixteen, and many will have more than one sexual partner in any twelve month period. Young people under twenty-one have one of the highest incidence rates of abnormal Pap smears related to wart virus infection, and it is this virus that has been shown to be associated with cancer of the cervix. According to (Australian) Federal Department of Health statistics, one in four girls between fifteen and nineteen will get pregnant, and of these, almost half will have an abortion. To quote a recent medical journal correspondent, ‘something that delights nobody with an IQ above room temperature.’
So what’s the answer to all of this? Certainly a communal ostrich response is not the way to go. Waving placards to stop wicked condom pushers is simplistic in the extreme. Mounting organized campaigns to scare off advertizers that support sex education programs on television is blackmail by any other name. The only weapon we have is enlightenment, knowledge, awareness. If young people understand more about the nature of sexual relationships, know what sex is about and are aware of the risks, they are in a better position to make responsible decisions. They need to know that their judgment will be impaired by just a couple of drinks. They need to be aware that unprotected intercourse, just once, can cause a pregnancy. They need to be able to talk without fear about their close relationships, so that they can understand what it means to be ready for a sexual relationship.
Parents and specially trained teachers are vital sources of this sort of advice. The more they know, the more relevant they will be as advisers. One of the best ways to cut off communication with a young person (or any person for that matter) is to tell them that they are ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’. It is much more effective to try to look at what’s behind a thought or an action, to help them weigh up its importance, and to guide them to find their own solutions. Questions like ‘How did you feel when he did that?’ and ‘Why do you think she told you that?’ leave the conversation open, and encourage the other person to practise independent problem-solving skills.
Nobody expects a parent or a teacher to have all the answers. Knowing how to say ‘I don’t know but I know where to help you find out’ is as valuable as having the knowledge at your fingertips. Showing a willingness to listen, an appreciation for differences of opinion, and an attitude of caring without stifling will go a long way. Young people have a natural curiosity about sex that will make sure the questions keep coming. The way those questions are answered will determine how they cope with their future relationships.
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