Think not ‘Will he/she respect me in the morning?’, rather, think ‘Will I respect myself in the morning?’ This may sound like an old presidential speech, but it does adapt well. What matters most is that you have a clear understanding of your own beliefs and morals and that your decisions are based on those, rather than relying entirely on the reflection of how someone else is going to feel about you. This all gets down to self-esteem or how important you think your rights are.
One of the assumptions we make as a society is that it is always the boy making the approach or suggestion, and the girl who is placed in the position of having to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Traditionally society has not made it easy for boys to say ‘no’ to the opportunity to have sex, although in many respects they too might not feel as if they want to. Peer pressure is very difficult to resist and it is a major factor in many first experiences.
Sam said, ‘I really didn’t feel like I was doing the right thing at the time. I was nearly seventeen and all my friends made out that they had been doing it for ages and I just felt left out. It was all pretty quick and I must say it felt like a bit of an anticlimax. I suppose it was a relief to get the first time out of the way.’
*35\17\9*
